Beauty in the Mess

My last post was titled "Life is Hard, God is Good."  I had trouble not using the same title for this post. You know, life really makes no sense when you think about all the junk that happens to people all over the world.  It could be so easy to focus only on the junk and not see all of the beauty that still exists in this very broken world.  I tend to ramble when trying to share my thoughts so for those of you taking the time out your busy lives to read this...my apologies...hang in here with me.

The latest:

The whole point of this blog was to share with family and friends or who whomever is interested in journeying with us through the road of adoption.  Obviously I created this blog years ago to post funny things my kids did and post pictures so long distant family/friends who don't have facebook could still see the changes in my kiddos.  However, my posts never seemed to happen very often!  "Ain't nobody got time for that!"  (yep I quoted it, if you don't know what I'm referring to, you can look it up on youtube and have a good laugh).  Anyway...the blog resurfaced again when our hearts were burdened for the fatherless to the point of beginning the adoption process.  This is where the Lord is leading us.  He has led us to a country about the size of Tennessee where children of mixed race are discriminated against and abandoned.  My first post regarding our decision to adopt was on April 26th of last year.  We immediately began fundraising and let me say that the body of Christ is truly amazing.  We have had so much fun and have been encouraged so greatly by seeing the Lord working through our family, our friends, and believers that we've met for only a brief moment.  Yes, some think we are crazy.  Yes, some don't understand any choice we make. But the main point is that we have people behind us supporting us because they love us, and more so, they love our God.

Let's be real...Ryan is a minister...there are no big bucks a rolling in ministry.  Adoption is expensive.  BUT!  God is BIG.  God is MIGHTY.  He is ABLE.

So back to the latest happenings on the Meredith home front.  Unfortunately, the money we have raised is sitting tight for the time being.  We have put our file on hold with Lifeline until we can work out a few kinks.  I posted last month about life just being hard.  We are battling the enemy here.  We were hoping with our tax refund to put more money back into our fund and begin the home study process in April.  However, our van has broken down and tax refund money needs to go to fixing our vehicle.  We are still moving forward with selling our home and using the profit on our home to pay off ALL the remaining debt we have and put more into our fund.  We will rent for a couple years and will then find a home to fit our growing family...hopefully with an extra Meredith child in tow.  Our hearts are broken that our process is moving so slowly because a piece of our hearts is truly on the other side of this world.  Although we have not experienced major losses or major financial issues all this small stuff over and over chips away at us leaving us in despair.  We feel for the time being for me to be in the home.  Please hear me moms who work:  I respect you.  I admire you.  I was once a working mom.  But for us, even though a lot of our issues would be solved with me working full time, we feel it is best for us to fight the financial strife and to continue for me to work in the home.  We have tried and pursued SO SO SO many part time jobs for me and they all turned out to not be successful or not work with the demands of ministry life.  I thankfully have a little part time job working in the Connections Center at church, and it is wonderful.  Although I enjoy it, and I feel it was God ordained for me to take this role, however, it doesn't provide enough extra money to put money into our fund that other part time work could provide.  That is okay.  I feel it is where I need to be, and the Lord will provide the extra money in His time.  We have seen God move in MIGHTY ways in regards to adoption with so many other families.  Even though money is tight, God has a plan and He is in control.  He loves adoption.  He will provide.  He is at work.  He has shown me that this week.  Even with a broken down vehicle and not knowing if we can pay to have it fixed right away.  He showed me through the heart of another Mom whose family adopted their little girl a few years ago and made photo cards this week for kids at church to take home to pray for the families in our church who in the adoption process.  He showed me through the precious heart of a little boy who instead of birthday gifts wants to raise money for orphans this year.  I mean wow! The love of Jesus shining a light on this yuck of world through a precious request of young boy with a heart for service.  So I will not feel defeated this week.  I will not feel defeated in the face of the enemy who doesn't want us to bring a child into our home who will learn the name of Jesus.  I will not feel defeated because the battle has been fought and has been won.  My Jesus lives.

Our goal of April may still happen.  April is still in the future, and we very well could be moving forward by that point.  Only He knows and His plan is what matters.  His plan is why we live this life.  We only want His plan for the Meredith family so we will stay the course and pray each day for His guidance and direction.  Psalm 93 spoke to me this afternoon.  Read it and be encouraged.  The Lord also spoke to me through the song titled, "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail).  I will post Psalm 93 and the lyrics to the song below.  Thank you for reading my rambles.  Thank you for your encouragement.  Let me know how I can be praying for you.

To our Prayer Warriors:

We feel your prayers.  We are so thankful for you!

- Please continue to pray for the selling of our home and for all that comes with that.  Pray the offer that comes in is what we need to pay off debt and a portion of our adoption expenses.
- Pray for our health.  Although I am extremely thankful for no serious health issues.  We have been down and out with virus after virus since Christmas.  Please pray we get well so we are no longer fearful of spreading our yuck to family and friends.

Psalm 93

The Lord Reigns

"The Lord reigns; he is robed in majesty;
  the Lord is robed; he has put on strength as his belt.
 Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved.
 Your throne is established from of old;
  you are from everlasting.

  The floods have lifted up, O Lord,
   the floods have lifted up their voice;
   the floods lift up their roaring.
  Mightier than the thunders of many waters,
  mightier than the waves of the sea,
  the Lord on high is mighty!

  Your decrees are very trustworthy;
   holiness befits your house.
  O Lord, forevermore."



United - Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)
 

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown, where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior 

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine